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But I do think it's all fueled by the oppression of fat bodies overall, and the sexism that so obviously still guides contemporary living.And so, when you're a fat woman dating a smaller partner (like I am) you're likely to learn some things about body positivity and the world at large. Or at least, we only see fat men with thin women, or fat men with fat women (it's why Kevin James or Seth Rogan's on-screen loves can be women like Maria Bello or Katherine Heigl, but Rebel Wilson's has never been Kit Harington).But something about dating a thin partner can shed light on just how ridiculous it all is. And all those insecurities you were subscribing to — even if perpetuated by television or film or magazines — can only survive if you allow them to. We all like different things, and this applies to our romantic or sexual partners.When you date someone who by society's standards simply shouldn't be dating you, you realize that nothing all the bad will happen. Much like one person might think Piet Mondrian was a genius while another might think he was an insult to artists the world over, the way we perceive beauty in other humans is entirely our own.Since dating Patrick, I've caught myself paying more attention to the pairings I see in day to day life.Be it on Instagram, on the subway, or at one of the infinite Starbucks in New York City, different kinds of couples are all around us.Never having been told that all types of bodies can be attracted to all types of bodies.You're likely to become increasingly more alarmed about just how many people have no understanding of sex, anatomy, and the anatomy of fat bodies.
Whether this is because humans who go against the status quo make a lot of people feel on edge, or because some (though not all) thin women might feel threatened by the fat woman fucking the "gorgeous" dudes who should be fucking the "gorgeous" women with toned legs and who "work hard for their bodies," or whether it's because we're afraid of the things we don't see, and fat people (especially women) dating thin people (especially men) isn't really something we ever see in mainstream media, I can't say for sure.
I love being the big spoon in bed, and knowing I can pick up my partner and spin him around when the mood strikes and for no other reason than to be silly.
Abandoning all these siziest and gender-based "rules" of my childhood and adolescence has been hugely empowering.
Media-perpetuated body shame is undoubtedly a real thing, and it — combined with all the people who end up further perpetuating it still — can sometimes feel like enough to want to crawl into a hole and escape it all.
It might make you feel unworthy of love — and especially of love by someone conventionally attraction. It might make you feel like your body can't possibly be "right" until you make a change.